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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Why 'Everything is going to be Okay' is a bad advice.



One fine afternoon, I had a chat with my good friend about her worries in the coming months, such as her status in her new life in Australia, her relationship status with her Aussie boyfriend, her career in her company, and many other to name a few.

At first I was blissfully unaware of her worries but as she stated one by one her problems that is coming her way, it made clear to me that uncertainty of her future is brewing in the horizon. In a nutshell, to her it'll be either success or fail, happiness or sadness, stone or no stone, 1 or 0, to gain all or to lose all.

Overwhelmed with her problems and pressured from the support responsibilities of my job, all I could reply to her was a straight-forward cliche of "you shouldn't worry, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY."

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY...

Is it??????

The moment it left me, it echoed in my mind how a failure of a friend I am to her when I blurted that out. That all I could say to her is an assurance, based on nothing, that everything will be fine. In which, by all honesty, I don't know how it will turn out to be okay. It's as if I just told her that just to shut her up, which is not my intention. What my intention is to make her feel secured no matter what happens in the end. I guess, I chose the wrong words.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY... Is such a detached phrase. It's like saying, shut up and stop worrying about some trivial matters. It's like blocking her up and leaving her alone to deal with her problems.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY... doesn't show sympathy or care towards my friend who probably is being mentally tortured by the negative thoughts in her mind, whether or not it is self-induced.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY... will not make everything ok, neither it will magically solve her problems.

So Mamang (our nickname/pet name to her), I may not have the answer to your problems and I may not give the most sensible advice to quench all your worries, but sweetie, let me take back my words and say this. I don't know what will happen, whether life will favor you or screw you, I will be standing or sitting beside you, drinking away your happiness or sadness like we always do.

I promise you, no matter what happens, I WILL BE HERE...
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